girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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