Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
