We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
