Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
