You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize