no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
