Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
