I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
