Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize