dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
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I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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