may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
