So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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