I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Two words: nipple clamps
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