My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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