DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just google imaged poop.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
