ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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