I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
