I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
