I'm so fucking centered right now
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
