....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
