And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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