By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
