I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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