i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
