why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
