Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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