I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
