Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
