Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize