Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
