Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
she smelled like a LAN party
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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