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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.

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• (409): View more from Texas

  It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?

  (713): View more from Texas

  lets deal with that after we figure out where i am

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job

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• (801): View more from Utah

  i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  when I sang my humps to you I meant it.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Lets trade lives

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.

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