yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
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Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
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You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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