I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
