But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
