At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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