Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.

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(443): View more from Maryland

i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007

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(917): View more from New York City

He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.

(410): View more from Maryland

The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.

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(518): View more from New York

Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.

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