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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Dude, just got a bummer.

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  What??

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  A blow job from a homeless chick.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction

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• (619): View more from California

  You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.

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• (925): View more from California

  Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night

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• (213): View more from California

  I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina

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