Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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