i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
