Do vagina's smell?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
