i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
