Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
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I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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