After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
