Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
