Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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