Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
