Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
did you just send me my own nude
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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