i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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