You smell like a Billy Joel song
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
