fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
