Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?

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(614): View more from Ohio

You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.

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(207): View more from Maine

there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.

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(762): View more from Georgia

Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.

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(406): View more from Montana

That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby

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(941): View more from Florida

My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens

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