Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
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If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
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And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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