remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize