fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
