I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
