He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
