The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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