bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
