Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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