my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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